LOVE

February 14th…Well, since people will not let us rest with this whole ‘love and relationship’ thing, I’ve decided to talk about it too.

For those who don’t know, I studied four years to be a nurse. And in nursing, there’s something called nursing care plan.

‘Uhmmmmmm, Juliana…. what has this got to do with love?’

‘Relax, comrade, we’re going somewhere.’

Back to nursing…

In this care plan, there’s a column for writing out the problems your patient is feeling. Some problems are verbalized by the patient and others are noted by the nurse.

For instance; you can only know the patient has a headache if they tell you. But you can tell if the patient has dirty clothes on by just looking at them.

There’s a column for writing down their strengths too and how these can help solve the problems you listed.

PATIENT PROBLEMS

We can apply this same principle to our ‘love’ lives. By this, I mean friendships and family inclusive. I believe many relationships are not being enjoyed because we fail to verbalize how we want to be loved appropriately. Regardless of all the hints you leave some people will never notice until you tell them plainly. Even the genie in Aladdin did not know what Aladdin’s 3 wishes were, he had to tell him (the genie). Even our Father in heaven expects us to tell Him the things we want Him to do for us in prayer.

Telling the other partner that you’d appreciate a little support, some more words of affirmation or increased acts of service isn’t wrong. As long as it’s done in a respectful un-needy (pardon my English) way.

On the other hand, a good partner also takes time out to study the other person in order to notice the things that he/she needs/wants. It would be very unfortunate for you to scroll past a status of a friend who just lost a loved one with the idea that ‘they must tell me first’.

PATIENT STRENGTHS

Seeing the strengths of the patient clearly written down is very motivating for caregivers. It shows that there is a way to eliminate or reduce this mountain of a problem. The way the problems are discovered is the same way the strengths are discovered.

Let the other partner know their strengths, nobody is all bad. Normalize telling them how good they are in that business or that craft. Don’t lie though, be honest in your assessment (and corrections).

The nurse uses the strengths and other things like medications, physiotherapy to solve the patient’s problems.

We use our strengths and those of the other person coupled with prayer, inner heartwork, communication (and so many other things) to fill the inadequacies in our relationships.

If you noticed one recurring theme in this post is ‘verbalize, tell them’. Find the best ways to communicate how you want to be treated to your friends. Truth is if you don’t tell us we might not know about it.

I know that this may be hard for some due to the trauma for previous relationships. I pray that the Lord heals your heart and mind. I pray that strongholds are demolished and God ushers you into a new season of God-ordained relationships.

Consider your friends as patients and write a nursing care plan for them.

Not the Valentine’s post you were expecting right?

I stand by the statement; ALL LOVE BE LOVE- though they may be in different forms, the principles governing them are similar.

Byeee.