DAY 10: INCONVENIENCE IS PROOF OF LOVE

I had a couple of errands to run in Accra but working a full time job in the Ashanti Region made that quite challenging. I had no other option than to turn to friends. I was amazed by the level of openness they had about my program. Those who couldn't make it because of  genuine reasons always checked in to see whether I had found someone else to do it for me. I work in healthcare and it's an exhausting sector, we usually spend our day offs preparing for the next shift but these people were willing to sacrifice their one day off work for my sake.

I was touched by this act and kept wondering if I would do same if someone approached me with the same issue on such short notice. 

Recently I was scrolling on the internet and stumbled on this quote, “ the opposite of love is convenience”. All of a sudden it made sense, someone had given wording to something I could not. 

Personally , I translated that as “inconvenience is proof of love”.

The struggle to spend time with God when you're legitimately exhausted.

Taking on a colleague's shift because they're unwell when you could have been enjoying your day off.

Paying for someone's food when that money could have afforded you a meal another day.

Taking time off to be present for a friend's wedding.

Giving grace and making excuses for others when a crash out on your part would have been legitimate.

Even praying for others. The average human being never runs out of prayer points for themselves. So for a person to suspend their problems and pray for another, that's love.

Sometimes, what people call kindness is inconvenience, sometimes what we call discipline is inconvenience.

When you have good reasons not to but choose to do it anyway.

All these examples above prefer the outcome to the process. 

The process can be draining and uncomfortable but what you stand to gain is an improved bond in that relationship. So for that reason, people go “above and beyond” literally.

That is love masked as inconvenience.

Convenience is safe, inconvenience is not. But it is the most rewarding of the two I'm the long term.

Some of these things might be easy and others are a real sacrifice depending on your wiring. I've met people who do not have a problem with prayer, they can pray 24/7 but you see the thing called Bible study? They never seem to get a grip of it.

They are people who do not mind showing up for you physically but never seem to get your vibe spiritually.

Personally I have a problem leaving my house. It's a chore. But I've come to realize that showing up for the people who matter is more important than my comfort. I can enjoy the comfort of my room for 24 hours and live with the lifelong guilt of not been present for someone or show up for them and enjoy the lasting benefits of human companionship. My comfort and budget interrupted but my soul at ease.

Inconvenience can also take another form.

It usually looks like interrupting your own plans for others but sometimes it looks like interrupting their own plans for their own sakes. 

Calling them higher, asking questions that others fear to ask, because if you don't who would?

Inconvenience looks like making sure they meet the deadlines.

Inconvenience looks like settling misunderstandings upfront (which lots of people detest ) as opposed to keeping grudges or spreading rumors

It's the year-end season and people are assessing their year, inconvenience looks like giving honest feedback in love even though it might ruffle some feathers. 

At the expense of cordiality, inconvenience in close relationships looks like talking about the proverbial elephant in the room when you know that it is the one that has been trashing your crops.

At the baseline, it's not about what you say, but about what you do. The older I get the more I rethink the whole love languages thing. I'm a huge words of affirmations girlie but what is the essence of all your sweet words when there is no commiserate action to back it up. 

You can claim to “Abba’s beloved”, “Jesus' baby girl” and not have a relationship with Him because “prayer is hard” or “the Bible is boring”. At the end of the day, God knows who His true baby boys and girls really are.

They are the ones who spend time with Him regardless of the persisting limitations of the flesh. Jesus Himself showed up for us when His flesh was saying otherwise.

We read that in the Garden of Gethsemane, He prayer hard that this cup would pass from Him (Mat. 26:39). But then He decided that the inconvenience of a shameful death was the only way to prove His love for humanity.

Relationships are not meant to be a tug of war but hard times are inevitable. And when they come, one person or both may have to allow themselves to be inconvenienced for the longevity of the relationship.

So yeah, 2025 is the year that I learnt that inconvenience is proof of love. Tell us what you learnt in the comments?