In hindsight, I have realized that most of my relationships happened by chance.
We went to the same school, we sat next to each other in class, we went to the same church, our paths crossed a lot then we realized we had similar interests and somehow became friends. I don’t remember there ever being a time when I shot a friendship shot or actively pursued a relationship- it just happened.
When something happens by chance, it survives by chance too. Most people are not intentional about keeping and building it because that was not the foundation upon which it was built. We subconsciously assume that the systems upon which it was built- the same school or workplace- will sustain it. Reality, however, begs to differ. People grow up, they move from cities and form new mindsets. To maintain this friendship, participants will have to "work".
When the common factors of school, work, church, and neighbourhood were removed, the relationship just like how it came about unintentionally, starts to crumble.
I realize that this is how a lot of us treat our relationship with God, we leave it to chance. We don’t have any specific ground rules regarding how and when we approach our relationship with Him.
But that is the exact opposite of who God is by nature.
He defines the relationship.
God requires you to believe with your heart and confess with your mouth for salvation. God doesn’t leave us wondering where we stand with Him. He’s clear and direct. I know who I became when I got saved – I was grafted into the Kingdom and became a child of God.
So, every believer has a certain point in their life where they intentionally decided to follow Him. We're not following Him to "see how it goes",
God is a good communicator.
God is very vocal about how He wants to be loved. He knows that mindreading is not a fruit of the Spirit and attempting to read His vast, infinite mind is impossible so He gave us His Word. The whole point of the Bible is to show us how to be like Jesus. It lays the ground rules for God’s expectations and responsibilities towards us. He has the right to call you out and convict you when you do anything contrary to what has been laid down. You made Him the master of your life and that gives Him the right to dictate how you live.
Why can’t we learn from God?
Every successful Christian acknowledges their intentional role as well. By setting out time to pray, study and seek His face, we are doing our part of the work. Spiritual maturity (or any other type of maturity) is not magic, it takes time, it takes intentional pursuit.
There is a place for surface relationships in life but God created us for more. We have many people in our lives for different reasons but some have been placed there for a purpose greater than vibes. He has placed depths within us, depths that might require the sharpening and wisdom of others to fully comprehend.
If we keep approaching every relationship lazily, we will not reap the full benefits. There is a place for vibes and foolery and an even bigger place for depth, especially from those we call our inner circle.
We will need people who can call us out when we’re going astray and it’ll be easy for them to do so because we have created spaces for that.
As we advance, I think it is important to have “the talk” with some new and maybe old friends. Letting them know what the ground rules are, and defining the relationship. Creating rooms where confrontation is welcome, accountability is cherished and love is paramount. Where we are not scared to be vulnerable and not ashamed to be seen for who we are.
Ultimately, letting God have the final say in your relationships is the bedrock. Letting Him decide who gets to be in the inner circle and who stays an acquaintance is the beginning. We then have to pursue the relationship with intentionality.
Every thriving relationship including what we have with God consists of people who are not afraid to have hard conversations. If God is only telling you sweet things, you’re either in a temporary stage that requires that or you’re not hearing properly.
Pursuing intentionality amid the busyness of life is a hallmark of excellence not just in relationships but in life.
Have an intentional week, friends...one day at a time❤. Oh and if you're wondering why there's a 2.0 attached to the heading, click on the link to read the 1.0. BE INTENTIONAL (julianaofjehovah.wixsite.com).
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