The desire to have what someone has - ENVY
The fear of losing something that belongs to you to someone - JEALOUSY.
For purposes of this post, I'll be using these two words interchangeably, they're literally twins. (Disclaimer- jealousy referred to here is not in terms of romantic relationships)
They’re always posting at one fancy restaurant, using the best gadgets, wearing the best clothes. They have a loving family and a good job that pays well. Everything is going well. They’re so smart. They pass all their exams with no fail. Life is good for them.
Then you look back at your life and ask yourself why it’s such a mess. Why you can’t have what they have? And sometimes think they don’t deserve all of that goodness.
WAY OUT
You’ve probably heard, “Not everything is as glamorous as it looks”, “it’s all social media stuff, they’re not that happy” and “Everybody is suffering”.
Though it may make you feel better, I think it's wrong to hang your consolation on an assumption- a very unkind one at that. I beg to differ yes, we all have struggles but not everyone is faking it. Some people are as amazing as they sell themselves to be. There should be a better way to end this feeling that going back to the cycle of comparison- the same cycle that got us into this mess. Here are some valuable tips that helped and are helping me.
Admit it
This I believe is the greatest obstacle. A lot of us are stuck in the illusion that we are such good people and incapable of having such “nasty” thoughts. That is why the Bible reminds us, “The heart deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it?”- Jeremiah 17:9
The apostle Paul teaches us “not to be ignorant of the devil’s devices” as cunning or subtle as they may be (2 Cor 2:11). We are told that he is roaming seeking who he may devour. Don’t be a victim. When your feelings are in contrary to God’s Word, call yourself out and ask for help!
2. Ask for help
Take it to God is prayer. The Father has sent the Holy Spirit as our Helper, no matter how hard, the Holy Spirit is powerful enough to help us overcome. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, goodness, gentleness, self-control, faithfulness, kindness and long-suffering.
How will jealousy thrive in a heart that is constantly connected to a supply of love for all men?
How will it survive in a heart that is filled with so much goodness? Just how?
3. Know your identity in Christ
Identity is the root of jealousy and envy. It is because we feel that maybe God loves this person more, and that is why He has graciously lavished His gifts on them.
“Maybe if my parents had enough money” or “I had their opportunities I’d be better.”
Regardless of earthly background and connections, you’re privileged to belong to the family of Christ- God is your Father, Christ is your Groom. He has called you as light and as salt. He has given you the power to raise the dead, heal the sick and cast out devils. He has stamped you with His Seal and ordained a future more glorious than you can imagine in heaven.
But here we are envying another person because they have more money or more Instagram followers.
Seeing yourself in the scriptures as a child of God is enough to dissipate any feeling of worthlessness and crush that need to compare yourself to another human being. If he/she is an unbeliever, you will only recognize them as a soul that needs saving.
If they happen to be a believer, that’s a sister/brother right there. A co-labourer. You are God’s favorite, no doubt and so are they.
How do we know our identity in Christ?
⭐By studying the word
⭐By prayer
God actually knew that these feelings would arise so He has scattered across scripture verses and passages to remind us. As we pray, we ask for strength and grace to overcome and the Lord generously answers.
4. Get busy
Maybe because of the amount of free time you have on your hands, your nose is in everyone’s business. You know the date of Ama’s wedding, Kwabena’s naming ceremony and Sarah’s housewarming party. You believe your life is not moving because you’re privy to everyone’s wins. Maybe just maybe if you focus a little less on other people’s gist and more on your work, ministry or personal development, your life might be better.
If we commit more time to execute the instructions God has given us, we won’t really be bothered by what other people are doing with their own bestowment of time. Laser-sharp focus your own assignment.
5. Give yourself time
I wrote a post about what success really means and I made an analogy between Esther and Ruth, I think that perfectly explains the role of time. you can read it here https://julianaofjehovah.wixsite.com/website-1/post/what-does-success-mean-to-you. Esther made it early in life while Ruth didn’t, yet both women lived to fulfil God’s plan for their lives. Give yourself time.
6. Constant heart check and heart-work
It’ll surprise you to know that jealousy and envy are not things that have a one-time fix. You’ll deal with it today and might deal with another one twenty years from today. Constantly checking in with yourself, evaluating your actions and feelings, praying and asking God to reveal the hidden areas of your heart will help you to nip that bud of jealousy no matter how small it is before it escalates.
Godliness with contentment is great gain – 1 Timothy 6:6
Be strengthened!
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