HAIR LESSONS

I had a big chop 3 years ago. It remains one of the bravest things I've ever done. I woke up one day and decided I was over this hair, and it had to go. So far, here's what I've learnt.

• Lesson on bouncing back

"It's just hair, it'll grow back". I've heard this saying over and over again, and I admit that it is true in a sense. I understand that sometimes “it's not just hair” and there's a lot of sentimental feelings attached to it. But two things can be true in different instances.

If factors like genes and proper care are checked, it will grow back beautifully if you want it to. Hair has taught me that it is okay to start over when things are not going the way you expect. I did not like the state of my hair three years ago, and whether or not I chose to do the big chop, three years have already passed. I could have chosen to keep it that way, and regret it now for not doing it earlier.

• Lesson on comparison

When I started growing longer hair after high school, I was obsessed with every inch of growth I saw. I kept comparing myself to others who usually had a different hair type than I did.

My hair is “hard” for lack of a better word. It is not the type that you can just run a comb through every morning. Shrinkage is its best friend, hiding all its growth in compact spaces; it does not like to go out for a stretch.

Unlike other hair types that are loud on arrival, keeping their charms on their sleeves, mine is the type that doesn't brag, preferring to keep its wonders to itself until you touch it, then it will surprise you with its treasures as you move your fingers gently through it.

Yes, there are obvious cons, but there are pros to it. Length was taking her sweet time but volume was always showed up. I kept comparing myself to others who have finer, easier manageable, less shrinkage-prone hair, and that was a problem.

This time, I am wiser. All my hair needed was to be healthy. Let others create imaginary timelines in their head about how fast it was growing, I will not rush it.

I appreciate beautiful hair when I see it, but honestly, I can't be bothered about anybody's hair.

• Lesson on contentment.

There's the teeny weeny afro stage, there's that awkward phase where the hair is neither short nor long, then there's the long hair phase. I relished the times that I could bathe my hair, the times that all I needed to do was comb and be on my way. But I won't lie, I imagined days when I'll be able to do braids, days when I'll finally be able to put it in a bun like a can now.

This second chance had me slowly enjoying the different phases. The low-maintenance phases were very budget-friendly, and the high-maintenance phases have been a financial investment for the greater good. At the end of the day, it was all me, whether in braids or with a "down cut". Nothing to hide, nothing to be shy about.

Enjoying it , in all stages.

• Lesson on experimenting

My go-to styles are braids and twists because I'm lazy and was not blessed in the creative department when it comes to hair styling. For the life of me, I can't seem to twist my hands properly to make those cornrows some people do. But this time, I've decided to move a little outside the box and try new things. A little colour, a different type of synthetic hair for braids, and a new style for twists. Figuring out what works for me and what is a no no.

• Lesson on progress tracking

I've taken more pictures of my hair in the past three years than in the six years prior. I see the steady, consistent growth. Healthy hair growth, like any other sustainable type of growth, does not work like magic. It takes time. I might not see the growth but after I compare two pictures, one from three months ago and the other from a week ago, I see it. All the growth.

This post is not about hair, well... it is, but not just about hair. It is a lesson in starting over. No matter how bad things get, you can always start again and bloom to become even better than you were before.

A lesson in second chances and not repeating one's mistakes while putting in consistent efforts.

A lesson is owning your journey and experiences because this is the only thing you can call yours without fear of it being taken away from you. Enjoying the journey and romanticizing it as much as possible.